When Music Students Want To Quit

It is almost inevitable. After participating in music training for some period of time, all of a sudden, your student declares she's had enough and wants to quit. It may occur during the first year or fifth, but for one reason or another, your student decides that playing the violin, piano, or other instrument simply isn’t worth the effort.

When music students want to quit, the first thing to remember is that no one ever quits playing their instrument because they abruptly decided to hate music. The factors that contribute to an antipathy for practice include peer pressure, struggling to perform new techniques (advancing), or a combination dislike for the type of music, the instructor, or the instrument.

However, learning to play an instrument provides numerous long term benefits, and students who stick with it for at least eight years will be able to become independent learners who are able to play all of their lives.Therefore, you need to be ready with actionable ideas (other than threats, groundings, or similar punishments) to combat the very real possibility that one day they’ll say, “I quit!”

Uncover the Root of the Problem

Your student’s desire to quit music stems from some other issue. It’s your job, as a positive influence to discover the heart of the problem. Many adults look back with regret, wishing that they’d stayed with their lessons, so it’s important that you do everything possible to prevent that from happening. And although there are many legitimate reasons students quit music, if a student’s reasons stem from transient influences, he or she will be grateful later on that you persisted.

Perhaps your student is dealing with other adolescent pressures that make playing her instrument seem stupid or boring, or maybe it’s a problem with the curriculum. No matter the circumstance, by understanding the “why” behind the impulse, you are better equipped to deal with it.

Deal with the Issue at Hand

There are many underlying factors involved with a student’s desire to forgo music. Once you’ve discovered the cause, develop a positive way to counteract it. Each unique circumstance will dictate your response, but some ideas include:

• Take the student to a concert. Seeing a professional, perhaps famous musician play your student’s instrument will help spark their excitement and natural desire to play. Remember, music instruction is an on-going process. All students develop at their own natural rate, the key to maintaining the willingness to learn is to stress commitment.
• Peer Pressure is tough to overcome, especially at that age. Students who want to quit music need positive reinforcement and support. You can introduce the student to a small ensemble group by checking advertisements at your local instrument shop, or see if he’d like to form a small group of his own with two or three other players.
• Perhaps your student has a problem with the instrument, the music, or the instructor. If students want to throw in the towel after a short period of time (the first or second year), see if another instrument will spark more enthusiasm. Maybe a new style of music will re-spur their interests. If it’s a problem with the teacher, sometimes it can be difficult to discover because the student doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Don’t let that be a consideration. The student’s music teacher will be the first person to support moving to a different instructor, as opposed to quitting.
• Often the desire to quit is created because the student is simply overwhelmed with extra-curricular activities. Obviously, you don’t want her music education to suffer, so you can try to strike a balance. For example, if your daughter plays softball, she may need to reduce the amount of time she practices music during the season. Then when summer rolls around, she can get back to her standard routine.

If all else fails…

If you’ve tried every route and your talented student is still determined to quit, it might be worth it to suggest a compromise. Suggest a brief hiatus, but set a specific time limit, perhaps one month, and don’t discuss it again until the time has expired. At that point you can revisit the idea.

Sometimes students want to quit music because they don’t get enough encouragement or they just can’t seem to get past a specific level. By giving them a little time off, you show that you support their endeavors. Plus, it sometimes helps to step away from a problem… when you come back to it, it may already be solved.

When students want to quit, you can help them prevent making a mistake that they will regret all of their lives by finding creative ways to solve their problems and by supporting their struggles. Rest assured, they will eventually thank you for your efforts.